Why is forgiveness just so damn hard? Anger and resentment cause nothing but problems, yet we are so glued to those emotions. Does giving the silent treatment to a relative or a longtime friend resolve the pain in your heart? Does the need to be right really trump pain and suffering?
Let’s look at it another way. If you have a bad day, do feel exhausted or rejuvenated? Negative energy is negative energy. There’s just no way around it. Given that, what takes more energy? Being angry for a long period of time or realizing people are who they are and letting them be? Really think about that.
I’m in no way saying that you should allow yourself to be someone’s punching bag in some type of act of martyrdom. But, what I am saying is that you gain control of your life when you forgive. You give away control of your life when you resent.
Forgiveness is empowering. There is no more powerful person than the person who does not let the actions of others control their mindset.
Ready to forgive? Here are 5 ways to help you move on.
- Step into their shoes. One of the quickest, and hardest, ways to forgive is to see the situation from the side of the other person involved. No, I’m not crazy. I just know this works. Sometimes the best thing you can do is get out of your own head. There is infinite knowledge in objectivity.
- Learn the lesson. Every situation is an opportunity for growth. It’s a lot easier to forgive when you can see the lesson. Not sure why you’re going through a break up? Dig deep to see the bigger picture. Maybe you needed to learn what you don’t want in a partner or maybe they are leading you somewhere better. Maybe you have to learn how to be a better partner. The answers are within in your soul. You just have to be willing to take the time to listen without distractions like resentment.
- Say the words. Be willing to say the words “I forgive you.” It doesn’t always have to be face-to-face. Sometimes it’s enough to write a letter to the person even if you have no intention of sending it to them. Forgiveness takes place in your heart.
- Let go of your ego. You have to be willing to accept your role in the situation. Forgiveness does not make you less of a person. Holding onto to anger because you think it gives you power, does, however, obstruct your happiness.
- Embrace peace. As Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.” Forgiveness is a conscious decision to live in peace. You must say to the world, I will not let what I can’t control affect my serenity.
Looking at it from a spiritual mindset, forgiveness brings peace, which unites you with the universe. We may live in a chaotic world, but you don’t have to participate in every facet of it. You make your choices. You can’t control what other people do or say. But, you do control how you choose to move forward.