A long time ago I learned what it was like to be backed into a corner by other people. I’ve always been a sensitive person and I when I was a kid I was ultra sensitive. I was also caught between being independent and wanting to be social. I had a strong sense of myself, which means I was the girl who the teacher trusted and the kids were the first to pick on. I wanted to belong, but I was just this shy kid who was not willing to compromise being kind and doing the right thing.
I’ll spare you the long list of incidents, but I will share with you one of my earliest memories of being bullied when I was about eight or nine years old. I was in summer camp at a private school. Girls who I were once friends with started to change. They wanted to hang out with the older kids and the cool crowd. I guess to be a part of this crowd you had to say bad words, which I wouldn’t do so they shunned me. They had rules and one of them was no one was allowed to talk to me. A place where I used to feel safe and happy quickly turned into one of my first experiences with “mean girls.” I didn’t find my voice until I was a teen (I’ve had a mouth like a sailor since then, go figure) and I took it to the extreme often finding myself being mean. I was confused and going through major hormonal changes. I hated myself.
It took me years to love myself again. I longed to cherish life like I did as a young kid. When some major tests occured in my teens and mid-twenties, I had to take a hard look in the mirror and decide who I was going to be. It was time to stand on my own two feet again and not worry about what everyone else’s opinion of me was. I already knew that being defensive didn’t work, so the only real path for me to take was to reconnect with my soul and my faith.
It’s a process. I’m so lucky to be in a place where I love who I am. I love my life and I’m blessed with a fiance who loves me unconditionally as well as family and friends who love me for me. Now I’m working on finding my soul’s path. What’s the reason I decided to come back to life on earth? What lessons am I here to learn? How can I contribute to helping others? There are days when I physically feel like I’m being pulled in another direction as if the energy of the universe is saying,” hey you, go this way.” So what’s a girl to do? I think the key is to listen and take action.
My daily to-do lists are full of activities and tasks, but more importantly, I try to put my energy into the spiritual development so that I may connect with my soul, my guides, guardians and the collective.
My spiritual daily to-do list looks something like this:
- Upon waking give thanks and ask for protection. First, I immediately thank the universe for another day. Asked for my guides to protect me and allow me to only connect with the energy of those of the highest good. I also ask God for the protection of my family and friends, including specific events that they might need help with. Last but not least, I ask for God to help someone in need or who is in pain. I ask for them to find relief even if it is as small as a laugh.
- Say buh-bye to the negative people without becoming one of them. This is a tough one because I give everyone a chance and look for the best in people. There comes a time though when I have to make the decision to back away and let them be. I won’t even work with clients who are bullies. Either you understand the value of what I bring to your business or you don’t. There will always be people for whatever reason who will try to bully you. Resist it. That action is how they try to fill an empty void in their own life. If we can’t help each other and most importantly respect each other, it’s see-ya! I have enough swirling around me, I don’t need any energy-drainers. I have important soul work to do here in this world!
- Seek out balance. I joke that my life is like a circus. My fiance and I are big animal lovers and we have four dogs at home. He also has a daughter who is simply amazing but she’s still a kid. I have my marketing company and another health and wellness business. I volunteer for various organizations. Oh and I’m starting to plan my wedding. I know my life is crazy now but I’m finding my way. I take time for myself to breathe, meditate, pray, read, work out, sleep and spend time with my family and friends. If I feel unbalanced, I ask what I can change. I also say a lot of “no’s” because I’m just not willing to sacrifice my happiness and sanity.
- Be conscious of your perspective. This is a big one. I feel the best when I take action from a place of peace and love. If you have peace within your heart and are willing to share love through being kind to others and to yourself, you’d be amazed at how your life would change. I’m not the greatest with this because I am pretty emotional, however, when I do feel unbalanced and “ugly” as I call it, most of the time a change in perspective combined with a tweak in action will fix it. So much of how we experience the world is in our perspective.