“Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”
– Mark Twain
Ever had a bad day or just woke up in a bad mood? Maybe you know what it’s like to feel just plain old grumpy. I certainly do. I am a giant, walking ball of emotion. Meditation helps but so does perspective.
Some days I just want to be mad and grumpy. I prefer to be left alone. However, I often find that the act of seclusion just makes things worse. Sometimes I just have to get over myself and in the process make an effort be particularly careful when interacting with other people until I get past my wretched mood.
Know what really helps? Making a conscious effort to remind myself that the person I’m speaking with may be dealing with their own issues. Even if I’m not so great at hiding my emotions, many people are.
Recently I was shopping at a Walgreens and could see the cashier was clearly not having a good day. I asked if she was okay and she said no and began to cry. It struck me how she was fighting back tears while scanning my items, asking if I had a rewards cards, and completing the transaction. My heart hurt for her. She’s clearly going through something awful and for whatever reason had to be at work. Amazingly, she still cared about doing a good job. I was at a loss for what to do so I simply said that I hope whatever she is going through gets better and that I’m sorry she’s dealing with something so tough. I also said a prayer for her.
Our society full of people who are quite frankly stuck up and completely self absorbed. Having been born and raised in Miami, where I personally believe this problem is an epidemic, I find myself acting this way sometimes. But why? Is it a defense? Is it survival in the big city? All I really know is I feel so ugly after I act so horribly and I wind up beating myself up over it replaying the scene over and over in my head. I am better that. I shouldn’t stoop down to their level because they wind up winning.
Sometimes people have what’s coming to them and sometimes it’s necessary to stand up for yourself, but is there a better way? It’s like that saying, “kill them with kindness.” Slowing down long enough to breathe and look at what’s really going on around me makes a huge impact on my own attitude. So maybe I left my car’s sunroof open over night and it poured down rain; it was my fault. I can be angry at myself but not at other people. What if that person who is annoying me because I’m already on edge doesn’t have money for a car and had to wait for the bus in the rain. Who am I to judge?
And so I ask you, who are we to judge each other? Have you walked in their shoes? Most of us have a hard enough time walking in our own shoes. Shouldn’t we spend more time working on our own paths instead of judging others or taking our crappy days out on them? It starts with common courtesy. Let’s try looking at the big picture. Maybe things aren’t so great in your life; try counting your blessings. Be big enough to look outside of your own problems and lend a hand. I bet you wish someone would do that for you. I know I do.