*This is an excerpt from a chapter of my first book. I’m currently writing the first draft.
Have you ever met someone who seems to have all the bad luck? How about that person who is always huffing and puffing about how hard life is? Or that person who can’t find their soul mate or hates their job or where they live, etc. Have you ever felt like there is a cloud following you? Why is that?
Brace yourselves because here’s the answer: it’s your fault. You’re the boss of your own happiness.
Are you mad at me yet? If you are, it’s because you know there’s truth in what I just said. But, before you start cursing me out, let me clarify.
I am in no way saying that the death of a loved one, a disease, a loss of a job, a breakup, etc. is your fault. Many, if not most, times these things are out of your control. However, it’s what you do in these circumstances that defines you.
Blame. Stuck. Karma. No matter how you try to disguise them, excuses are excuses. Happiness is a choice. Period. You can waste your energy being mad and endlessly questioning the whys. You can believe it is dumb luck or an evil plot to ruin your life. You can put your energy anywhere you want it to be. Energy is precious so why not use it to be happy?
I used to be that person. My emotions were in control at all times and I got hurt. A lot. Slowly I started to realize that I could let those emotions consume me or I could find a way to be happy anyway. In short, I learned how to look for the lesson and move on rather than dwelling on it.
If it’s your soul mate you’re after, stop being unhappy with all the wrong people just to fill a void of loneliness with the hope that maybe that person will change. They aren’t! Ain’t gonna happen, ya heard?
If your work sucks, change it! Life is too short. I’m not saying run out and quit without a plan. Actually, it may just be you need an attitude change at work. If in fact it’s not your passion, go find out what your passion is. Everyone has one.
If you’re unhappy, move it or lose it! Take it one step at a time, but make a commitment to yourself to be the best version of yourself. When you’re happy with yourself, no one can take that away! And you’ll be less likely to settle because you’re better on your own.
Here are a few steps to being happy:
1. Embrace the fear. What’s stopping you from being happy? If it’s fear, are you afraid of being happy? This may sound ridiculous, but it happens all of the time. Fear is very telling. If you’re afraid of being alone, you need to work on your relationship with yourself. If you’re afraid of leaving your job, are you attached to money or is there a passion you’re ignoring?
2. Detach from your emotions but let your intuition guide you. A gut feeling or a simple knowing is much different than an emotion you feel in your heart. No one and no one thing can make you feel or do anything. It’s a hard lesson to learn, and it can be even harder to live by, however, your actions, reactions, emotions are a result of you. You have the control. Get pissed off and then move on. When you stay angry or sad, you relinquish the control to whomever your anger or sadness is directed towards. You intuitively know what’s right and what’s wrong. Try listening to your intuition and see what happens.
3. Look at your surroundings. Are the people you’re spending most your time with toxic to your happiness? Or are people with your best interests at heart trying to help you while you’re too busy shutting them out? Are you treating a blessing as a curse or vice versa? Ask yourself: what’s helping you, what’s hurting you, and what is your role in all of it?
One last question: Is your name Pinocchio? I didn’t think so. Be real with yourself. Happiness is a choice you make in every breath and every thought.